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Winter 2006 Table of Contents
Versión Español de este artículo (Spanish Version)

Building Relationships: "Friends of…Club"

By Tracy Jess, Consultant, Washington State Services for Children with Deaf-Blindness
Director, National Family Association for Deaf-Blind, Region 10

Abstract: This article gives an approach to utilize informal activities and supports within a formal structure to increase social and recreational networks.

Key Words: Family, deafblind, socialization, friends, recreation, supports.

We talk on the phone to a friend, order a latte, read the newspaper, go to a movie with a family member, hike, dance, go to church, sing in a choir, host a Tupperware party. Socializing and recreating are an essential part of our lives. These activities renew our energy, relax us, decrease stress, and give our lives balance.

For a person who is deafblind — with or without other disabilities — the focus too often is limited to academics, health issues, communication, orientation and mobility, transition, and daily living skills such as feeding, grooming, and bathing. Those of us who live with or teach these individuals often run out of time and energy to help support their needs for socialization and recreation, or we simply may not realize the importance of these activities. As a result, many people who are deaf-blind have too few opportunities to enjoy life.

The "Friends of…Club" (fill in the person's name) is one strategy to address this need.

What is the Friends of…Club?

• People known to a deafblind individual come together to plan and support a regular schedule of social and recreational activities for him or her.
• These activities should be ones already occurring in the life of the individual, or ones that the "friend" believes might be enjoyable for him.
• Activities might range from a 5-minute phone call to an all-day outing.
• The activity should be based on the interests of the "friend" as well as of the person who is deafblind.
• A meeting of the "Friends of. . . Club" can serve as a brainstorming activity to assist the individual in making transitions or increasing social opportunities.

What you need to begin:

• A facilitator: Someone, preferably not a family member, who is willing to take responsibility for working with the family to prepare for and conduct the meeting. Options include: a state deafblind family specialist, a school counselor, a teacher, or a minister or priest.

Before the first meeting:

• The facilitator, family and deafblind individual meet to discuss the Friends of…Club.
• Prepare a list of the person's needs, interests, likes and dislikes, abilities and current daily schedule to share with participants.
• List people who show a genuine interest in the individual who is deafblind. The facilitator invites them to the meeting. (This relieves the family of feeling like they are intruding on peoples' lives.)
• Think in broad terms of whom to invite, for example, the grocery store clerk you see every weekend, hairdresser, neighbors, youth leader at church, extended family, lunch worker at school, bank teller, or friends of both the family and the individual.
• Agree on a date and meeting place. The location should be comfortable, informal, and allow you to share a snack (e.g., school, home, church, or local restaurant).

During the first meeting:

1. Introduce everyone present and his or her relationship to the individual.
2. Present a brief history of the person and the reason for the meeting.
   
   Sample: "Linda is graduating from school and enjoys doing the things on this list. We want to see her continue to grow and be involved with others. We have asked everyone here to help her by sharing some activities on a regular basis that may already be occurring in your lives or that you are interested in doing with her."
   • Activity Examples:
     • Five-minute phone call weekly
     • Invite her to dinner once a month
     • Mail a letter or post card to her every two weeks
     • Shopping excursion one Sunday a month
     • Go to a movie every other month
     • Walk around the block
     • Haircut expedition
     • Take to church choir weekly
     • Swim every other week
     • Go for a 20-minute car ride
     • Walk to Starbucks for cocoa
3. Brainstorm to generate other ideas from friends and neighbors.
4. Ask for a formal commitment and write down planned activities on a large calendar.
5. Be accepting if people do not wish to commit to a specific activity or schedule, and permit the option of spontaneous or occasional activities.
6. Get contact information (phone numbers, e-mail, and addresses) for "club" members.
7. Allow time for questions, comments, and eating.
8. The individual who is deaf-blind, or a friend or family member, commits to sending out a monthly schedule to all "Friend of. . .Club" members.
9. Organize follow-up meetings as needed.

Sample Schedule

Utilizing this tool not only frees up some time for the caretaker, but also provides the deaf-blind individual with important opportunities to socialize and access recreational activities and live a healthy life-style.

Friends of Tony Club Calendar - February 1998

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
1	2	3	4	5 7:00 pm Choir with Sam	6	7 10:00 am Grandparents for the day
8	9	10 Letter from Susie	11	12	13	14 1:30 pm Movie with Larry
15 4:30 pm Walk with Jimmy	16	17 6:30 pm Dinner with Pyles	18 7:00 pm Choir with Sam	19	20 9:00 am Swimming with Nina	21
22	23 Letter from Susie	24	25	26 7:00 pm Phone call Lisa	27	28

Utilizing this tool not only frees up some time for the caretaker, but also provides the deafblind individual with important opportunities to socialize and acccess recreational activities and live a healthy lifestyle.

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Last Revision: February 15, 2006